Let me in pls.

I want to talk to someone about this. Scratch that. I NEED to talk to someone about this. Pour out everything I feel because it's dragging me down into this dark place I thought I had left behind never to be revisited. It's eating me up from the inside out. But it's not my story to tell.

The person I need to talk to is u. Only u. I just need to hear your voice. I just need to make sure you're ok. I just want u to need me as much as I need u especially during times like this. I need u to stop pushing me away and shutting me out. This affects me as much as it does u, even if u can't begin to reason why. It just does. And it hurts when u don't let me in. There is only so much I can do looking in from the outside. U promised we'd do everything together. Eventually there is only so much that I can resist. Even perseverance wears out over time. Eventually I will just go in any direction u push me in.

I just hope that day will never come. Because I still care. I just need u to let me.

here we meet again

I feel myself constantly being pulled down by all these negativity in my life..

I want to laugh..I want to smile..but it gets harder everyday..

I understood.

I tried to understand.

I am trying to understand.

Now I am just frustrated.

As much at myself as I am with u.

ups and downs

Dear J

u are never alone

in a crowd all by yourself?

don't u see me walking beside u?

don't u feel your hand in mine?

don't u feel whatever burden u carry lighten?

because I'm here carrying it with u.

I mean what are friends for if not for this.

xoxo :)

:)

Even though u don't realize it

U cast my doubts away lil by lil

Just by doing what u do everyday

It's the lil things that matter most to me when it comes to u.

Thank you.

doubts

When I ask You to give me strength

I know I should cast all doubts aside

And surrender my life to You

Full of faith that

You will guide me

Through whatever

Doubts will make me like waves is the ocean

Constantly tossed around

I know

Because at this moment

This is where I am at in life

But give me time

One day at a time

Hoping that the day will come

When I am at total peace

With life

-I believe-

Please.

Stop.

Calling.

Him.

Thank you.

what really matters

Life is at its weakest
When
There’s more
Doubt than trust
But
Life is at its strongest
When you learn
How to trust
In spite of
The doubts …

I want to achieve this. For us. Because I love u.