f r i e n d s h i t

“before u throw me away I want to throw you away”

Would you ever say that to a friend? Would you?

Now I’m so numb I don’t know exactly what thoughts are going through my head

But I can feel the anger building up inside of me

He basically dumped mud on whatever history we had

Friendship..more like friendSHIT

I know I gave him the choice to become closer or to back away

Coz we have been fighting a lot recently

Mind you I’m only talking in context of friends (nothing more!)

I would understand if he wanted to back away (seriously I would)

But to tell me in such a way as to ‘throw me away’..

I mean he referred to me as trash basically (no?)

NOW expect me not to be angry and my anger shall be directed at YOU!

what doesn't kill you only makes u stronger

i've come a long way from where i was completely degraded to more than nothing to where i am now..i am living proof!! or so that's what i think or allow myself to think..tomoro will be the deciding moment..when i put myself to the test!

wish me luck..i have this sinking feeling i'm gonna need a LOT of that..hmmm..i shall not chicken out i shall not chicken out i shall not chicken up..i mean out..damn!! i shall be strong..i AM strong..!!! *flexing arms..*

ps..don't mind the flabs..lolz..somehow talking bout flexing my arms reminded me about this pic..that's liang one of my very good frens here..he has a russian gf (whooaaaaa..) lolz!! she's actually having this aerobics class every sunday that leaves me in pain for almost 2 days after..see how unfit i am!!! *sigh* the pic was taken almost a yr ago..it was the time of the beginning of the end *nostalgia* a lot has changed in a year..let's hope i really have become a stronger person for my own good! only tomoro will tell..

well done ? medium ? rare ?

i'm somewhere between well done and medium rare..to ur liking?? i could throw in tata sauce as well if u want *winks*
i feel like i'm living in an oven & it's slowly cooking me inside out..
how i wish i had a bathtub full of ice right now..oh wait a minute i DO! well minus the bathtub that is..and hmmm..not exactly to my liking either..

every year the whole of kursk will have their pipes changed..so for these few weeks my whole hostel won't have hot water..you'd think with this crazy weather i wouldn't mind the cold water but when i say cold i mean icy cold and i'm not kidding!!! last night i washed my hair..was too lazy to boil water and all..sooooooooooooooooooooooooo..halfway rinsing my hair i wasn't sure if there was still soap suds remains..why?? i couldn't even feel my hands!!! they were so numb til they hurt!!! last night i experienced a whole new definition of brainfreeze..seriously it was litearally mind blowing!

BUT it is better than having only hot water and no cold water..OR no water at all..so i'm so totally not complaining..i AM grateful for everything that i have at the moment..i am i am i AM!! :)

it's been so long since i actually sweated..i forgot how icky it felt!!! arghhh!! how am i gonna survive msia?? how howww??? i can already imagine sweating the minute i step out of the shower..am i gona have to live 24/7 in the shower?? oh myy..but nothing not even the weather will keep me away..especially when there is so much food waiting for me..come to mama!!

i soooooooooooooo lurve the song Pdiddy & Keisha Cole - Last Night..i know it's an old song but juz now when i was at BaskinRobbins i saw the video clip..now it juz keeps playing over & over again in my head..play it ONE more timeee!!! phweeeEEEeeet!!!

my exam timetable came out today..my last paper is on 2nd july (psssst..the exact same day as my flight from moscow) sigh..i guess i'm just going to have to sit for it when i come back from summer holz..no way am i gonna delay my flight..i heard the flights are like fully booked til mid july..NO WAYYYY am i gonna stay here an extra 2 weeks juz for the sake of one paper..nonono..NO!

i still remember today a yr ago..it was sunny but still pretty windy..had to go round wearing a thin jacket due to the ocassional wind BUT now..i think even while walking around naked i will feel like peeling off my skin hoping that it might feel that lil bit cooler..it's juz TOO hottt!! the only good thing that might come out of this is that i become darker..i hope hope hope..u guys hope too k..then at least me putting through all this heat won't be for nothing..i wanna become dark-er!!!!

ps..arthur u still owe me an explanation! *wicked stare*

exams exams exams

i'm soooooooooo lazieee..
HELP!!!
and worse yet..wat bad timing!! i honestly don't know how i am gona get through my exams in one piece..
i feel like i dont have wat it takes to last one & a half months more..
i need some sort of booster..
suggestions anyone??
weed? hmmm..

last weekend we had our MSA night/prom..theme : urban glamour..wat is urban glamour?? i haf no clue of a clue..so don't look at me..i didn't really go for the prom itself but rather for the afterparty..wanted to dance dance dance..danced til i could barely stand..like usual walked barefooted back to the hostel again..lol..i have started a trend *proudly grinning from ear 2 ear* on the way back one by one the gurls started taking off their heels..in the end we were all proudly parading our cute lil feet..heels in hands..i regret not taking a pic darn! oh well..close ur eyes and try to imagine..but even then i seriously wasn't puas dancing..if it wasnt for those darn blisters..lol..and then i get shot back "why don't u wear more comfortable shoes???" OBVIOUSLY it wasn't a gurl who sed that..i mean who goes clubbing with comfortable shoes??? no offence to those who does tho *sheepish grin*

anyway i'm sorrie if ur falling alseep reading this blog..i've juz been out of it..BUT i'm afraid if i let my laziness take the front seat this blog might nv be able to be revived..so bear with me k :) your cooperation & loyalty is duely noted and greatly appreciated! *hugz*

- S - D - N - E - I - R - F -

where there are frens
there is alwaz hope

randomly fished a topic out of my so-called head..

quite the general i know..but what is your definition of a fren?? a close fren?? a true fren?? a great fren?? a bestfren?? a bad fren?? a lousy fren?? a 4ever fren?? how do u measure frenship?? what is the standard you compare all your frens to?? should you be comparing in the 1st place?? hmmm..

for me a friend is juz a friend..the word 'friend' is self-explanatory..it needs no other words to describe its meaning..the adjectives are like parasites..alone they are nothing..so by clinging to the 'friend' they obtain some sort of significance..

once stripped down to its bare essence..a friend is still juz a friend and in life sometimes that is really all u need to give your life that extraaa ooOomppPhhH to make everything seem okay..

you know who u all are..MY friends..u guys define my life with so much meaning..what with all of u leaving behind muddy footsteps here and there..memories frozen in time..unwavering support when the going gets tough..and laughter for me to alwaz look 4ward to..how can i possibly deem my life unworthy in whatever way?? it's coz of you and you and YOU! and of coz the little you in the corner too :)

i tried to put my all into the *muahs* & i had to end up lookin constipated *sigh* d next pic is me trying to recover wat lil dignity i had left..don't let the smile fool ya *blush* lolz!

ME lubingsss ya all much much muccch!! *super duper uber BIG huGz*