boo hooo..

this has juz so not not been my week at all..I knew it the moment I woke up on Monday..i had a feeling!! I so wished that I was mistaken..that it was juz me bein all paranoid and stuff..and trust me i can get pretty paranoid..i mean it hasn’t been THAT bad..but still I am counting down til my Saturday comes knocking on my door..

have I told you all what a pathetic excuse of a weekend I have??? well if I haven’t let me enlighten you..if i have..juz bear with me..i can go on and on forever..but i promise i shall keep it as short as possible this time..k see here..i have lectures on Saturday til 5 pm..so there goes my Saturday mornings and afternoons..then there is of course Saturday night which anywhere else on Earth except for this forsaken place would definitely compensate for half my Saturday in the bin knowing that Saturday nights are all I need to make every 52 weekends in the year something to look forward to!! bu-bu-bbuu-buut not here..firstly there are limited places to go to and even more scarce things to do..secondly even if I do have something on I have a curfew and past that curfew I would have to come back ringing on the doorbell of my hostel..and the guard now literally stares daggers at me everytime I walk into the front door because of the many countless times I woke him up to open the door for me..to the extent he even told my roommate to tell me not to go out at night..that it’s not good to come back late..blah blah..u know the normal lectures you ‘used’ to get back home..even my parents are past that man..he is in desperate need of a life..due to HIM I have been coped up in the hostel the past few weeks trying to restraint any tempting activities that require me to return to the hostel after lock-in time..once he basically opened the door..screamed some blardee impossible to understand Russian in my face and slammed the door in my face..i was stunnedfor a good few minutes!! but of coz when i snapped back to relaity there was nothing else to do but keep ringing and begging to be let in..can u imagine?? well I know it sounds pathetic but hey im not sleeping on the streets man..i even called for back-up..asking my friends in the hostel to get ready in case he gave me any trouble and if they still couldn’t handle him well..worse come to worse I shall just have to climb up to my window..how hard can it be?? I always see it being done in the movies..right right?? chillax..that was my very last desperate option..but not 2 worry he has a soft heart behind all that gruff jeepers creepers exterior and mind-boogling 1000 dB lectures..

Sunday is the only day I have all to myself before Monday comes dragging the rest of the week with it..and here we go again..soooooooooo much for my weekend huh?? lolz..are you guys all grateful for not being me?? you should be..you better be!! if you see me..dont u ever dare complain about your weekends ok..because your sob story just cant possibly compete with mine..so don’t even bother trying..you’ll end up regretting it..sitting for hours on end hearing me drown in my own self-pity..it’s not a very pretty sight..dont say I didn’t warn you!

I’m not saying that I dread my weekend..just that I know it could be sooooooo much better..but beggars cant be choosers..so of coz I look forward to my Saturday nights..it’s better than no Saturday nights..but the fact that most ppl here tend to turn to alcohol on Saturdays..well take it form me..you just cant blame them..it’s cheap it’s easy to get it gets you high it takes away your troubles for that insie bitty moment and you can drink it in the hostel!! well of course you don’t come walking in through the front door with vodka bottles in your hands..hello!!!

so anyway..this Saturday Dev is having a cocktail party..” 70’s theme”..i’m veryyy veryy veryy looking forward to it!!!!! especially after what a week this has been..i just need a break..and since my so-called weekend limits my activitites..i need a par-teeeh to kill any trace of last week and prepare me for a whole new next week..i’d like to say that things cant possibly get worse than this week..but then let's juz say it does..OH GAWDD..i juz cant imagine..*i need a brainwash* sigh..all I know is there is a possibility that it might get worse..but hey..life is like a hourglass..you just got to wait for something or someone to come and turn it around..ya know?? be optimistic and vry very VERY very patient..!! I know whoever that has seen me around this week would say I was far from optimistic..sometimes I know you see a dark cloud hovering over my head but in my head I am optimistic!! I’m that much closer to the end of the week..now even if the thought doesn’t put a smile on my face it gets me through the week..

oh by the way I found my jacket..yes there is a higher power and He is on my side :) how do i explain what a %^&&*# week I had in relative to what i juz said..well look at it this way..He wont put obstacles in front of me unless He is sure I will be able to overcome it eventually..this week is just one of those obstacles I guess..and look on the bright side..i'm almost over and done with it..i can see the lightt at the endddd of the tunnel!!!

on a subconscious note..i saw him twice this week..1^st time I saw him I juz frozed up and I kinda stared without knowing it mind you!! The minute I realized I just turned around and hid in the café..pathetic right?? I just don’t know how to face him anymore..what to say?? how to act?? It just wont be the same like last time..i’m sure he would be different too and im not too sure how im going to handle it..it’s ok if I THINK I know he is going to act differently..but him actually acting different in real-life in front of me..well..seriously..i wouldn’t know what I would do..will I break down..will I get teary-eyed..will I get angry..honestly I don’t know..and as of now..i’m just not ready to find out yet..2^nd time I saw him..today..i was just looking at the swarm of ppl coming out of the lecture hall..you know looking but nOT looking at the same time..it’s like you are just staring into space unfortunately just in that direction you know..and then..somehow..i saw him..our eyes met and I just looked away without acknowledgement and walked away..sighh..i hate to admit this to myself but yes..i am still angry at him..I know I cant exactly blame him for anything..if I were to drag him to court I would lose..but just for putting me in this situation..im angry..at him at me..life used to be so simple..how the hell did it get so complicated?? I know I said I wasn’t angry..said I didn’t care..but what the hell was I suppose to do?? what I wanted was so wrong..so I did the right thing (at least I thought I was doing the ‘right’ thing) and now here I am..I know some of you think I 'won'..but why do I feel like I lost?

oh by the way..i guess the gundumama survived the take-off..I’m here even if I don’t blog as often as all of you hope I would..well mind you..i DO have a life :) I’m not saying that all you bloggers out there do not..it’s just that you guys have much more will-power than I have..once I reload I will just use and use and use..til I’m out of credit..then I’ll try to withstand reloading til I’m about to break..and then when I do..i just use and use and use..sigh..it’s a very vicious cycle..it used to be the same way with my hp credit..i guess better on this than on my hp..trust me on that..i was out of control last time..for reasons i would not like to remember..

Clemmie how was KL?? did you send my regards to the nasi lemak at the mamak nearby IMU?? I’m sure Cherie would have brought you there..were u there on Sunday?? Dim-sum?? *sigh* how I wished I could have teleported myself back..moreover this time you wouldn’t be all the way at the other side of the world..ok figuratively speaking..last time Wangsamaju was the other end of the world to me oK..we would have been so closeee!!! could have gone to so many new places considering the situation..i could pick you up..and not drop you off at some LRT station..oh well..i just hoped you had a great time..i will remember tho ”Red Label” without me..!! :( looking forward to anything interesting that might have happened that night!! *winks* especially if it involves dirt on lai..or anything I can use against him when I go back..muahahahha..*evil grin*

I got major tomorrow..damnn..why cant this week just END!

end end end end end end end enddd!!!

btw did i ever tell you guys how i dread Russian classes..well if i haven't..I DOO!!! i alwaz end up spacing out..daydreaming..taking pictures..falling alseep..the pic..me and my roomie in Russian..i was so sleepy!!!! as u can see i was fighting a losing battle while my roomie..well the pic speaks for itself..hehe..i hope my Russian teacher doesnt see it..she's so skema it juz kills me!!

the other pics..the gurls b4 we went for Surgery..hope this will last u til next week..i shall be back!! *hugz*

oh woe me

Sigh..i seriously do not know what is wrong with me but recently I have been over forgetful..i mean yeaaa..i am pretty forgetful every other day but these few days it’s just been one incident after another..ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so sooo gerammm!!!! Yesterday I was looking for my biochem lecture book but I couldn’t find it..so I started thinking..hmmm..who did I lend it to..i mean usually I would remember!!! Ok common gimme a break..my memory aint that bad ok..with the exception of the recent events oK! So I was thinking thinking thinking..trying to retrace my steps..i mean on Friday morning I had my book in my hands..was pretty sure i had it when I was back in hostel..but now it’s not on my table..not on my shelf..I even looked under my bed!! Maybe the boogeyman was bored so took it for some light reading??

I compiled a list of ppl that might have borrowed my book in my head..and when I saw them I asked and all said “no..”..i was giving up hope d..seriously..i was like oh myyyyy..somemore this Friday I got major..so where the hell am I gonna get the notes from..somemore when ur so comfortable with your own notes and handwriting and all..studying from other people’s notes just isn’t the same..it just doesn’t work for me..not saying that their notes aren’t as good in any way..it just isn’t the same laaaa u know..i don’t have a sense of ‘my own’..ya know?? Well if u don’t..dont bother..but if u do..then yeaaa that is exactly how I feel!!!

Then today during physio lec..i sat next to Krishna..and then she took something out of my head and placed something in front of me..MY BIOCHEM BOOK!!!! :) I was stunned for a minute..definitely relieve but more stunned at my forgetfulness..i mean the minute I saw the book I remembered that yesss..she DID come to the room on Friday afternoon!!! But why couldn’t I have remembered that when I was looking high and low for it yesterday..and the worst part..she wasn’t even one of those people on my list to ask if they had borrowed my book..i know it’s no big deal..but just the fact that it occurred was troubling me a lot..dont ask me why..it just did!

Then today..oh man..after microb I was changing my shoes..then I was taking of my lab coat and putting it away in the bag when I realize something just isn’t right!! Where is my jacket???? !!!!!!!!!!! I ran back in my class but it wasn’t there!! I looked on the desk..in the desk..under the desk..on the floor..omG I looked everywhere and it just wasn’t there..!!!! so the only one other possible placeit could be hiding..the café..oh mannnnn..dah la 6.30pm..cafe dah tutup :(

The thing was the first time I left the café I forgot my jacket on the chair but Ed saw it and helped me take it..then since the library wasn’t open so I went back into the café and this time I was the last one leaving SO there was no one left behind to actually help me remember my jacket..sighh..hopefully the lady saw it and kept it for me la..but then seriously she’s not a very nice lady..she’s always in a bad mood and impatient and … but I’m still hopeful..i believe YES especially NOW I do so very the much believe that in every person there is definitely some good so I’m hoping tomorrow her good will outshine her badd..i even rehearsed what I was going to say in Russian so that she will understand me and not get into one of her temper fits..!! please please pleaseee please let her be in an extra good moood tomorrow..

It’s not like a super nice super expensive jacket..but still I lurveee it!! Well I tend to get super attached to what’s mine..regardless of it’s price and bla bla..it’s just the way I am..so when I lose something..may it be a biochem lec notes or my jacket..i get extremelyyyyyyy upset..but I’m hoping that because it is just an ordinary jacket..no exquisite design..not made from some super special super duper exclusive high class material that no one else would have taken it..*crossing fingers*

Worst case scenario that Vignesh put in my head just now..” even if she did find it, I doubt she will give it back to you..” thank you so very much for relieving all my worries and taking that BIG question mark away..*ppl this is what u call sarcasm if u haven’t already noticed* he said it was better to be negative so if I do find it..it’s a PLUS but if I don’t..i have prepared myself for it..but I just cant help it if I have hopeee..faith that the café lady isn’t as bad as she seems..thats why im making an extremely humongous sacrifice tomorrow..im going to wake up extra early to go to uni first b4 I head off to my hospital class and mind you..for the class itself I’m always late..but because of my beloved jacket..well let’s just hope that my sacrifice doesn’t go to waste..my roomie “ Goodluck..not in finding the jacket..but in waking up..*snicker* ” sigh..

Vinodt : Angie..biar laa..maybe it was meant to be..if u didn’t lose it in the café you’d probably have lost it somewhere else..if it was meant to happen you cant stop it..everything has already been pre-programmed to happen in life..just got to learn from it and move on..

I might have probably agreed with him in some other random situations but we are talking about MY jacket now..hopefully some higher power is on my side tomorrow..i promise even if I do find the jacket I won’t lose the lesson!! *drawing a cross over my heart* i will without any doubt whatsoever be more careful..

If you meet an extremely bitter Angie tomorrow..well..i’m sure u can figure out how things went..so ppl please keep my dear jacket in your prayers tonight..poor thing..all alone out there in this cruel cold world..

Til tomorrow..

no means no which simply juz means NO

why can't u understand
she said no
she meant no
she's not leading u on
now stop leading yourself on
ur too nice
but she's not meant to be yours
dont push it
she's 2 nice 2 be mean
but i'm definitely not
now why
oh whyy
whud u want to put me
smack down
in that position
whyy

how do u get past the guy's super duper thick skull and into the head that u mean what u said???

'no' doesn't mean 'ummm...' , ' maybeee...' , OR 'i shall think about it...' , and definitely NOT 'don't lose hope juz yet, i might change my mind in the future...'

that's why there are like a million gazillion zabillion words in the English language today and not just one --> NO

can u imagine??

a : no!
b : NOONOnonoooooooo!!
a : noooooooooononono nooooooooooono *noo noo noo*
b : noooo..no nononoo..nooooo,,nononononnNONonnONNno..
a : nonoO! *nooooono*

translation..

a : hey!
b : OMG it's been agesss!!
a : i know..i've been busy with u know..*wink wink wink*
b : ummmm..i think...ummm..ur eyelashes juz fell out..
a : shit! *embarassed*

now that would be a pretttty screwed-up world don't you think?? that's the beauty of the English language..so many words to choose from to express how u really feel..SOO ppl 2 very important lessons here :

1. don't read between the lines when there are no lines to read..duuuH!

2. when wearing fake eyelashes..pandai pandai la..restrict your *winks* to a minimum..

so pancake lovers put your thiking caps on and start brainstorming!! I'd like your opinions on the 'how do u..' question above..if possible be nice.. :)

the perfection of our imperfection - R I P -

dev..this is for you..now stop fussing!


During one of our lectures..

Dev – Psssssttt..Angie...you don’t miss your water til the well runs dry..

Angie – Huh?!?!?! What do u mean???

Dev - Think about it. I’m not going to tell u. Go figure it out yourself!

Angie - ???

Introducing Dev..he likes to make all these weird-out-of-this-world remarks to drive me up the wall trying to find some logic and reason in it..but it usually never contains not even a single pinch of either of these elements..tells a lot about the person who would say such things ehh.. :P

Actually I do get why he said that because in the past I have 'neglected' him here and there but especially when I’m interested in some guy..actually it happened twice..*ooops* how can i forget?? He NEVER let's me forget..but him being my close friend and all would understand..it's not like i completely neglected him..just partially..actually less than partially..he's juz over-sensitive!!! BUT its normal right right??? RIGHT?? Those of u who are reading this should be on MY side..those of you who want to support him can visit his blog which he says will be up soon --> www.roticanaiman.blogspot.com..coming to the nearest computer near u SOON..'soon' in dev’s world is like ‘never’ in the real world..take my word for it!! A few weeks ago he said he would get season 1 of 'six feet under' for me..well guess wat..I'm still waiting..but that's juz Dev..seeeee I accept you for who you are!! friends are suppose to be understanding..take me for example!! *grinning proudly from ear to ear*

Sometimes when I'm too caught up daydreaming about ... I just need a reality check and i think he takes pleasure in that especially when i refuseeee crying and grabbing everything i can get my hands on to stop him from dragging me back to reality..but he's also the place i can fall back on when the whole world comes crashing down on me..he's MY rock!! :) (jeles?? go find your own rock!)

Our friendship isn't perfect..we have had our childish long non-talking periods..our non-acknowledgeable glances..our dagger-killing stares..our drama sessions..hey!! it's what makes us -US- okay..we're interesting..deal with it if not juz walk away :) he's also seen me at my most vulnerable..at my worst..when im blue..green..orange..yellow..together we can accomplish anything!!! or so we like to dreamm..loLz

a moment ago it seems
it was yesterday
you were here with me
and everything seems to be the same
wat am i suppose to do
with all these empty holes
sitting here in solitude

-never took the time-

i still remember...

i want a cat!!
black 'n' white
i'm gonna call it KiLLaH WhaLe!!

The BiG 2 - 0

My group has 12 people as you should already know if you have read my previous posts..there are no shortcuts oK! Most of us have been through this milestone in our lives..the teen years left far far behind us along with the dinosaurs and the ‘dODo bird’..

Wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy back then when we all 1st arrived birthday parties were the –IN- thing but since then they have been striped of their element of surprise and originality..so in other words..B-O-R-I-N-G!!

Bu bu bu buuuuttt the birthday boi 2day refused to enter his 20^th year without somewhat of a BANG!! Check this out..

• He picked out his own birthday present. Now if more ppl were like that we wouldn’t have to deal with the headache of thinking what the perfect present would be..don’t you agree??
• None of the other 11 of us had enough money to pay for the present 1^st SOO guess what…*oh my gawddddd* that was my reaction..that plus some extras which words just cannot do justice to..Can u imagine?? We actually borrowed his money to buy his birthday present..*speechless??*
• Normal birthday candles just wouldn’t do this time..no nooo noo..he treated himself to 1 foot long candles..not 2 of them but all 20!! He even counted them b4 blowing them out..mOnkeyy betull right??
• He made the most delililiciousssssss honeydew-mango pudding I have ever tasteddd..seriously it was SOOOOOO damnnnn good..I’m not just saying that because it’s his birthday oK!! But juz imagine while we were lazing around waiting for midnight he was busy slaving away making pudding for us..awwWWwwWwww!!
• Usually the birthday boi would just sit back and wait for things to happen but not Awang Abdul Malik bin Abdul Abdillah..uh uhh!! He planned and dictated everything making sure everyyy single minute detail went according to what he had in mind..now TOP that!!

From bOo BoO kItTy FcUk and all my dear pancake lovers..we wish u a very very veryy HappPPpPyyYY 20^th BbbiiiIiiRrrRttttTTthHhhHHdddDDDAAaAayyYYyyYY!!!!!!! :)

p/s, Darma the barli -slash- kanji was really really REALLY good too but can’t puji you too much..the barli can’t outshine the pudding 2day..u understand right?? *lolz*

stay tuned..pics coming right up!!! plz don't hold your breath tho..it's coming..juz..welllll..you'll see it when you see it *grinz*

I ' m h u n g r y ! ! !

its 2.58am..

weird hour to be awake?? well if u think so then u don't really know me..tsk tsk..

i was suppose to nap for a while and get up at 10pm to study..but then i got lazie..soooo i resetted my alarm to 5am..which would still give me plenty of time to study considering i got up at 5am..usually i'll snooze it for an hour or so more b4 i actually do get up..if my roomie sees this she would shoot me dagger stares..i quote "sometimes i feel like taking your phone and hitting u on the head with it so u'd wake up!!" because my alarm always tends to wake her up more than me..*giggle*

anyway back to the story..now where was I..RIGHT..at about 11pm there was this Russian car parked below my window and blasting some freaking loud music that actually made me get out of bed to close the window..now it takes a lot to get me out of bed..and boiii was i pissed off!!! if i knew i could get away with it OR if i had telephatic super-human power I'd have the pleasure of seeing then car burst up in flames coz that was how hot my head felt at that time!!! as u can all see..i might be mad with illogical thoughts and actions racing through my mind but still pretty rational when it comes to put thoughts into actions unlike some people i might add..but that's another story for another day..

anyway i managed to fall back to sleep but somehow at 2.30am i got up coz my stomach needed some attention..now if i was back in Msia..i'd drag cherie and we'd go mamaking!! mebbe a lai too with the permission of his gf (muz mention him if not later he terasa)..but sadly..im stuck here where i cant even leave my freaking hostel at this time of hour..i have MAJOR issues with that..but then that is also another story for another day..and even if i could there'd be no eating place open at this hour..sad ain't it?? welcome to my life :)

so while im cooking instant me (how sad is that???) i decided to pop online..and who do i see..clemmie!!! at 7.36am msian time!! so i asked him..have u not gone to bed or have u already woken up?? guess what his answer was..definitely not what u hear coming out of my mouth if i had a choice..ever! :P go figure!

anyway my mee is done..my stomach is about to go on strike and my microb lec notes are calling my name..sadly there is only so much of me to go around..so taa taa for now.. -bloOps-

ATTENTION : monkeys at large !!

no matter what people say, no man is an island except for those sad pathetic L O S E R S who drown themselves in self-pity and rejects the company of others as a way of gaining attention..u know..'those' kinda people..

don't worry i still have the constant need to surround myself with people..but recently just been more careful and selective as to who those people are..don't like it! sue me! it's my life! HUH!!!

anyway one of the most essential things you should know about me living here in Kursk is my family away from home..my groupmates!! so yes i am dedicating one whole blog to them..presentingggg..*drumrollllllllllllllllllll*.. G R O U P 6 (2nd yr 2nd sem) !!!

hahaha..wats the problem?? cool pic eh!! compliments of thanien (one of my dear groupmates) *innocently blinking my eyes* i know u guys want a clearer picture but if i give u guys everything u want now..u wont be coming back for more..i need to play hard-to-get a bit *winks* but dont worry..these people are practically my whole world here..so u guys will eventually see them in future pics..considering i pass this one-week probation..hek hek..

these 11 ppl construct the foundation of my world..but of coz the details of the geographilcal topology is also due to other people whom mean the world to me as well..they just were not fortunate enough to enter our group..we are in very very and i mean VERY high demand..i lie u NOT!

i think a round of "hellos" are in order..u guys should get yourselves acquainted with them..my friends are your friends too!!! meet..dette (my beloved roomie as well), ann, krishna, bibi, adnin, ramzee (group leader), tharma, malik, thanien, malik, raj..IF i had unlimited internet excess that doesnt kill my credit each time i upload pics..u would be able to see each and every one of them especially when they are at their funniest poses..my groupmates are "a bunch of monkeys!" as dette always say..she is the 'tai ka che' of us monkey-escapees from KSMU..

the officials are using all their resources to trace the escapees and put them back where they belong --> in front of THE books -BoRinG- (agree?) boobookittyfcUk will keep u all updated with the latest news..below is the most recent pic of most of the monkeys together..we are still trying to get a clearer (censored) pic of all of them together..if any of u do spot any one of them..plz contact ms. gundumamapancakes at +79202648688 ASAP..be warned!! try to avoid eye-contact..DO NOT fall for their innocent smiles and the minute they start telling a joke..RUNN!!!they are highly dangerous cold-blooded jesters..past victims all experienced a terrible pain in the abdomen area until they were ROFL-ing (rolling on the floor laughing)..u have been warned!

u betta believe it !!!

Nooo..im not out of my mind..last I checked pigs were still rolling in the mud where they belonged..the world is still turning..and YES..this is for real..not a joke or..watever ur silly minds can come up with..welcome to gundumamapancakes!! :) name compliments of gundumamawaffles..i don’t even like pancakes that much..but it’s better than gundumamadumbo right?? I’m sure u all would agree..

For all your sakes hopefully this isn’t a phase eh!! Hehehe..actually while writing this im wondering if I will regret it or not..this is gonna require a lot of commitment on my part to keep my dear pancakes alive..but I recently had a ‘quarter-life crisis’ (eve says I gotta come up with a smaller fraction if not it’ll mean I’ll only live til 80 lol! But then “one-fifth life crisis” juz sounds so soo wrong!) anyway where was i..oh right..life crisis so then I got to reflect on my whole 20+ years of life..there have been ups n there have been downs..reflect on the friends I have made throughout the years..the friendships I have fostered..and although I am MIA eversince I started uni I do think of the past memories all the time..thats what keeps me going when the going gets rough..n I do so very much miss all of u!! u guys know who u are right!! Well if u guys think u miss me n u deserved to be missed..i guess urin my miss-list then *winks* *hugs all around* i would mention names BUT in life ppl learn from mistakes..n the last time I did just that I got life-threatening msges (I wonder who from… :P) But yea..i guess its time I try filling out the blanks..ok..i think ‘blanks’ just wont do this time..more like a huge abyss of vacumn where MY STORY was suppose to be!

However u all will have to contribute too!! In life all relationships are about give and take..my blog will be no exception! So I will need feedbacks from all of u..comments..jokes..stories about u guys..i want to know whats going on with u too..distance is NO excuse!! I don’t want this blog to be just about me..because there is no me without all of u guys too..especially..and..and..and.. :) you guys know how I am..i get bored very fast..and for all I know to u all im down-right boring..but whatever it is..u guys got to keep me entertained to continue this blog for as longgg as possible..and I shall do my part to keep u guys up-to-date n hopefully not bore u trying..

Sooo..do we have a deal?? What do u say to a one-week probation?? then we shall see whether this blog will get to fly off the runway or crash into the control tower trying..