don't let go

i didn't go through with it
i was very tempted tho
i considered it

i'm ridden with guilt..u know how ppl defend themselves saying that sure it is wrong but hell i didnt go through with it..i just thought it..does it make it wrong?? does it?? if it doesnt then why do i still feel this bad? i was this close THIS CLOSE to losing u..i knew if i had done it i wouldnt have had a 2nd chance..i can't even think the thought of losing u let alone consider it and yet i almost did the most stupid thing i could ever possibly have done..everytime the X factor comes into the picture i lose all sense of logic..all sense of myself..the past comes and takes a hold of me..sometimes i feel like i have no control over myself..

the bottom line is i didnt go through with it in the end..but is that really the bottom line?? or is it the fact that its mere possibility crossed my mind the bottom line?? whatever it is i'm sorry.